Social Skills

Course Description

This course is for children and families to use to practice interacting with ourselves and others in positive ways. Students will work to understand their feelings and the feelings of others. They will practice responding to feelings in positive ways. They will work on communication skills such as initiating conversation and active listening. Students will work on developing an attitude of gratitude and a focus on caring about others. Cooperating with others is also practiced, so while the course is made to be possible to complete for the most part on your own, students will need to have a partner for some lessons, which are marked as needing two people. I think it would be interesting for families to try to do this all together, but we would suggest that students younger than 3rd grade should do this along with a parent to help guide them. There are 105 lessons.

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Lesson 1(*)

(*) If you want to print all of the worksheets needed for this course at once, you can head over to the print page and scroll down to “Social Skills.” It is also available as a book on Amazon, or you can print as you come to the needed worksheets – they’ll be linked in the lessons where they’re used.
This course is called Social Skills. So what are social skills? Skills are tasks, things we do that we can practice and get good at. Social has to do with society, the people around us and how we relate to one another.
One another – that’s our key phrase for social skills. We’re going to learn about how we relate to one another.
Before we get to that, I want to talk a little about the course. I want to let you know that so much of what our society teaches about being healthy in life and relationships comes from the Bible! The practice of gratitude, for instance, started with the Bible. Acts of kindness were commanded in the Bible long before it was a catchphrase. Our worksheets and lessons will come from websites that are not Christian, like most of the site, but I want you to realize that these are just Christian values. We will be skipping things that I think are not in line with the Bible. If we lived according the Bible, a lot of the things covered in social skills would be taken care of because the Bible teaches us how to love others. Even if we know those things, they are still things we can practice and get better at, even if we know them; so this course has value to anyone. I need to practice some of these things myself! For instance, I hate starting conversations. I don’t like small talk. I’m awkward and not good at it! I could use practice and this course will talk about things like how to start a conversation and about meeting new people and making new friends. For some people, that’s the easy part. Maybe they struggle more with self-control and knowing when to keep their mouth shut. There’s probably something for all of us because none of us are perfect and we can all improve.
What are social skills?
What is an example of a social skill we’ll learn in the course (there are some in my big paragraph)?
What is our key phrase for the course?
If you want to skip the Bible parts of this course, jump to lesson 7 and continue from there. I will indicate any Bible teaching with a note that says in bold, Bible Thought, so you can not use those if you so choose. I wanted you to see this first lesson because the Bible really gives us all we need to know to live well!

Lesson 2

I said that “one another” was our key phrase and that to talk about how we relate to one another we need to first talk about how we relate to God and each other.
Why would that matter? Because…
- When we realize how God loves us, we can freely love others.
- When we realize how God forgave us, we can freely forgive.
- When we realize how God is kind even when we don’t deserve it, we can be kind to others.
- When we realize how holy God is, making us realize how sinful we are, we can have compassion on others.
- When we realize that all that we have is a gift from God, we can give it away freely.
Today, I want you to make a list of all the good things about God you can think of. Then think about Jesus. The Bible says that He is the visible image of the invisible God. We can see God when we look at Jesus. Looking at Jesus’ life and how He treated people shows us what God is like and what we should be like. He’s the perfect example of loving others because God is love.
Hold onto your list.

Lesson 3

Look at your list from Lesson 2, the list of good things about God.
How can you demonstrate any of those attributes?
- Jesus died for others. You can consider other people’s lives as just as valuable as your own. Read Philippians 2:3.
- Jesus healed. You can pray for people. You can help them. You can take care of them or visit them when they are sick. You can send care packages. You can help pay medical bills.
- See what you can think of.

Lesson 4

Read some of the “one another” commands in the Bible.
Here’s a list you could print out if you wanted to have it around.
What are two you think you are good at?
What are two you know you need to work on?

Lesson 5

Take the lists from Lesson 4 and apply them.
List five of them and how you could specifically do them.
- For example, one is “bear with one another.” Is there someone in the family who does something that irks you? Are you irked? What can you do when they do that thing instead of getting mad, getting back at them, etc.? You could walk away. You could put on a smile. You can thank God for them. You can pray for them. You can ask God to help you love them at all times. You can ask God to change your heart so that the irksome thing becomes endearing and fun.

Lesson 6

We’ve looked at how God is the ultimate authority on how to live.
We’ve started to look at how we relate to others. We’ll be looking at that throughout the course.
We are going to start by looking at ourselves. Now, this is a little dangerous. Why? Self is the enemy.
If you aren’t a Christian, you aren’t going to understand that. Hopefully you do understand that somewhat if you are a Christian, but I’m not positive you do.
A Christian is someone who has Christ living in them. Galatians 2:20 says that we no longer live, but Christ lives in us. Our baptism is a burial of ourselves and a resurrection of the life of Christ in us.
The selfish part of ourselves is supposed to die. It loves itself. It wants stuff that makes it feel good. It causes havoc in our lives. We want to get rid of it.
So, I want to try to get our minds focused right when we talk about selfishness.
This is where many modern teachings will misguide you. We don’t need to love ourselves. We need to love God.
Do I hate myself? No. I hate sin and want all selfishness out of me. There is no good in me (Ps. 16:2, Rom 7:14). I can do nothing on my own (Rom 7:14, John 15:5).
Why do I love myself? Because I am God’s good creation. Everything He created was good (Gen. 1, Psalm 139). He has a plan for my life (Jer. 29:11) and He’s working out His good purposes in my life (Eph. 2:10). I’ve given my life over to Him so I know He’s working good in me and through me. I have Good Himself living in and through me (Gal. 2:20). I can do all things (Phil. 4:13)!
I love my hair turning white and my freckles and don’t do things to try and change my appearance because God created me just the way He decided. He knows best, and I know that. He made my mind work the way it does. He made my personality. That doesn’t mean that we get to act on our personality and call it good all the time. That means it serves a good purpose in God’s plan. It may be how He humbles us! But it’s for a purpose. God acts on purpose, so we can know we were created on purpose and for a purpose. We don’t have to know the plan; we just have to know the good God with the good plan. We give our lives to Him, and He works it out for the best.
Make a list of things you love, like, and don’t like about yourself.
Why can you be thankful for them all? Think through each one and say thanks!
Even something like a bad habit can be a cause for gratitude because it’s a constant reminder of how you need a Savior (and He CAN save you from it). We don’t have to live in slavery to anything (Romans 6:18).

Lesson 7*
Identifying Feelings

Hopefully we’ve established a foundation for this course so we can go through these things remembering why we can love ourselves and others. Kindness, patience, self-control, goodness, peace, etc. are actually all just expressions of love. This is a course about loving others!
Let’s begin at the beginning. We’re going to identify the emotions that rise up so we can know what to do with them when we recognize them.
*Print out these sheets. Hold onto them after today.
This video is for younger kids, but let’s go ahead and watch it. Fill out one box on each sheet for a situation that makes you feel that emotion. This video can help with ideas. Make your situation personal to you, not generic. When have you felt that way?

Lesson 8

Look at your chameleon emotion sheets from Lesson 7. What are some emotions that are similar to each other?
Fill out another box on each page of your chameleon emotion sheets.

Lesson 9

Look at your chameleon emotion sheets from Lesson 7. Each sheet ranks the emotions from most intense to least intense.
Fill out another box on each page.
Are your situations matching the intensity level shown?

Lesson 10

We can’t control emotions coming up in our body, but we can control what we do when we feel them.
We’ll be talking more about that. Look at your chameleon pages. Did you fill out any boxes with the highest intensity? What caused that intense emotion? Was it really that bad looking back at it?
Were there times you were relaxed but looking back you realize what was really happening and maybe you shouldn’t have been so relaxed?
Today, list things that made you happy.
- Past: What are happy memories for you?
- Present: List things that make you happy now.
- Future: List things that you hope for, things that would make you happy to get or accomplish.
Stop and be grateful for happy things. Say thanks. Whether you get those future things or not, there is still a reason to be grateful and give thanks.

Lesson 11*

*Print out these pages on identifying emotions.
Fill in the first page of the worksheet.

Lesson 12

You will be using the identifying emotions worksheet from Lesson 11.
Fill in the second page of the worksheet.

Lesson 13

You will be using the identifying emotions worksheet from Lesson 11.
Fill in the third page of the worksheet.

Lesson 14

You will be using the identifying emotions worksheet from Lesson 11.
Fill in the fourth page of the worksheet.

Lesson 15

If you have someone to play with, play emotions charades. You can use your worksheets that you’ve filled out so far for ideas.
If you don’t have someone to play with, draw a picture of a situation when you felt sad. Show it to someone. Does it still make you sad?

Lesson 16

Anger is something we all feel. It’s called a secondary feeling. That means it’s a result of another feeling.
Have you ever been sad-mad?
Maybe you acted out in anger, but you were really embarrassed or disappointed?
Try to think of at least one time you were angry. Write down (or tell someone) times you were angry and what was causing the anger.
You may think you were just angry. “He broke my ____.” “I told him to stay out, but he didn’t listen.” But think about what you are really feeling. Is it frustration because it keeps happening and you think he just gets away with it and it’s not fair? (as an example)
This can help you not be angry with others because you can realize you aren’t really angry; that it’s something else.
It can also help you stop and try to understand when someone else is angry. Instead of defending yourself against their anger, try to understand what they are really feeling.
- Try to get them to tell you how they are feeling by trying to understand, even if you are wrong. “Are you upset that I broke that because it was your favorite?”
- It may not be; but then they can answer and help you understand.
- If you can get to the bottom of what’s really bothering them, then you can work to solve the problem.
If you are just angry at someone, then they will just react and defend themselves. We need to talk to each other and solve the problem together.

Lesson 17

Write out or draw a scenario that happens in your house where you get angry or upset.
- What is the real feeling behind the anger?
- What steps could be taken to keep that from happening?
- Can you talk to the others in your home about helping to carry out those steps?

Lesson 18

Write out or draw a scenario that happens in your house where someone gets angry or upset with you.
- Try to identify what they are feeling.
- Ask them and let them try to explain. You don’t get to decide their feeling. They get to tell you.
- Problem-solve together to figure out a solution.
- Parents: don’t solve the problem. If they can’t get anywhere, try to give them a few suggested options so they have to come to a decision together about how to solve the problem.

Lesson 19

Be feeling detectives today.
Get a notebook. Put everyone’s name on it spaced out on the page.
Observe them. How do you think they are feeling right now?
What makes you say that?
If you notice someone is feeling stressed or upset, think about how you can help.
Can you offer to help do a chore for them to give them some help? Can you offer to play some music that they like? Can you offer to sit with them so they have someone to talk to? Can you offer a hug?
- Notice you are offering. You aren’t just forcing your help on someone. It’s only helpful if they say it’s helpful.

Lesson 20

Watch this video. Make it full screen. It points out that feelings don’t come out of nowhere. They start with thoughts.
Just like every other good thing we’re to do, the Bible teaches us about this too. It says to take your thoughts captive and to think on good things.
Write down three thoughts that get you upset.
Write down three “antidote thoughts.”
You can do more if you like.
Here are some antidote thoughts from a Biblical perspective.
- God created me in His image and sees His perfect potential in me.
- God loves me forever and always no matter what.
- God has mercy on me and forgives me when I come to Him.
- God has a purpose for me today and every day.
- I want to love others like God loves me.
- I am not more important than anyone else. My time is not more important than anyone else’s. My things are not more valuable than anyone else’s. What I want is not most important.
- Thank You, Jesus! The Bible says to give thanks for everything. Practice that and you’ll have happy thoughts. Thank you for this day. Thank you for this food. Thank you for these clothes I have. Thank you that my heart is beating and I am able to breathe. Thank you for my mind that can read these words. Thank you for helping me all the time. Thank you that I am never alone. Thank you that you watch over me. Thank you for this trouble I’m having because you are working something good. Thank you that I can trust you to always do good and always be faithful and loving towards me. Thank you that you want the best for me, so I can relax and trust you are at work doing just what I want because I want your best for me. And on and on. There’s no end to thankful and good thoughts when it come to God because He’s infinitely good and infinitely loving and infinitely faithful and infinitely powerful. He’s just so GREAT!
- And, Jesus fills all those descriptions of what good thing we are to think about, so turning your thoughts to Him is one of the best things we can do.
Maybe today is a good day to start a gratitude jar. Grab a jar, bowl, box, container. Add a note to the jar today. Something like, “I am thankful for my family because they give me hugs and make me laugh.” Add to your jar every day or whenever you think of it. When you are struggling to find happy thoughts, open your container and read your gratitude notes.

Lesson 21
Expressing Feelings

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my home because…
Play charades. Find a partner to play with. If you don’t have a partner, record yourself doing it.
Choose an emotion. Here’s a list if you need words.
Act out the emotion. The guesser can say any of the words on the list under the main word.
Take turns.
When you are done, think about how you were able to ask. We need to be aware of the bodies and faces of those around us and think about how they might be feeling. We can have empathy for them because we know what it feels like to feel that way.
Empathy means understanding what someone is going through because you have gone through it too.

Lesson 22*

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for today’s weather because…
*Print and cut out these cards. If you are playing with more than one child, each child needs the first page with the faces, but everyone can share one copy of the scenario cards.
Shuffle the cards and put them face down in a pile.
Choose a card and color in the face and circle the word to match the emotion you think you or someone else would feel in that situation.

Lesson 23

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my pet/friend/relative because…
Draw a picture of how you are feeling right now.
Write underneath it what is making you feel that way.
What thoughts are making those feelings? Write a thought you are having that is making that feeling.
Now, show the picture to someone and explain it.
- Listener, listen without comment. When they finish, repeat back what they said.
Did you blame someone for how you were feeling? For instance, “I’m mad because you are so annoying.”
If you did, think about what you are really feeling. Remember, anger isn’t the real emotion. There is something else.
Are you embarrassed? frustrated? tired? stressed and worried? feeling unappreciated or taken advantage of? feeling disrespected?
If you blamed someone for how you were feeling (and told them), please go again and try to explain how you are really feeling. “I’m sorry I called you annoying and was mad at you. I’m upset because I’m stressed that I have so much school work to do and you keep wanting to talk to me and stopping me from getting it done. I need some time to finish my work and then I can listen to you.”

Lesson 24

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my food because…
This is the same activity we did for Lesson 23. Give it another try.
Draw a picture of how you are feeling right now.
Write underneath it what is making you feel that way. Don’t blame someone else. You have control of your feelings. What thoughts are producing that feeling? Write at least one thought.
Now, show the picture to someone and explain it.
- Listener, listen without comment. When they finish, repeat back what they said.
Did you blame someone for how you were feeling? For instance, “I’m sad because you won’t let me go with you.”
If you did, think about what you are really feeling. Remember, anger isn’t the real emotion. There is something else.
Are you embarrassed? frustrated? tired? stressed and worried? feeling unappreciated or taken advantage of? feeling disrespected?
If you blamed someone for how you were feeling (and told them), please go again and try to explain how you are really feeling. Example: “I’m sorry I blamed you for making me sad. I know I can’t go. It’s not for me. It’s for you. I should be happy for you instead of sad for me. I’m just sad because I know I’m too little.”
- This is a thought that needs an antidote. Be thankful for today. Today is the last today you get. Today will be gone tomorrow. It will be yesterday. If you are 8, this is the last year you’ll ever be 8! Be thankful. 8 is a gift! Enjoy it. You’ll get a chance at all those other ages, but you’ll never get the chance to be 8 again.

Lesson 25

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my clothes because…
I gave a couple examples in the last lessons about how sometimes we blame others for how we are feeling when really we are feeling something else that we have some control over.
One was that the child was sad they were too little. He’s being frustrated with being too small and feeling left out instead of being grateful for all the gifts of being young. We can recognize that and help the child be included, but the child can also give thanks and be happy for those older than him.
Another example was an older child who is stressed over finishing their work. Maybe they have a deadline for a course. They are worried they don’t have enough time. They can make a schedule for themselves that includes spending time with the younger child, so that they each can know they are getting what they want. They can also make sure to schedule their time so they aren’t doing a lot of work at the last minute.
Let’s look at things you are worried about. Make a list of what you are worried about and rate each one: (mark with green) not really worried or scared just a little sometimes, (mark with blue) worried and scared whenever I think of it, (mark with red) think of it all the time because I’m so worried and scared about it.
Now, for each one, list antidote thoughts.
Example: I’m worried about getting sick. Antidote thought: Being sick is no fun, but I always get better. When I’m sick, I get to rest and people take care of me. Bible antidote thoughts: God is powerful and in control. He is a shield about me. He will protect me. If I get sick, it wasn’t by accident. God is still good and still loving me and taking care of me. He’s working out the best plan, so thank you, Lord!

Lesson 26
Managing Emotions

Add something to your gratitude jar. Thankfulness or gratitude is the antidote to almost anything, so that’s why we are going to practice that lots. The goal is to be thankful for everything always! That way nothing bad can ever happen to us. There’s always some good in there. 🙂
We’re going to be talking about managing those feelings we’ve been talking about.
Remember that feelings come first as thoughts. If we want a feeling to go away, we need to manage our thinking.
Just saying a good thought won’t immediately make the feeling go away, but as we practice right thinking, the feelings will go away and will not come back often.
One problem we have with our thinking is that sometimes we make assumptions and jump to conclusions. Her are some examples of what I mean.
- You might see someone laughing and think they are laughing about you and be mad at them when they were laughing at something totally unrelated.
- You might see someone ate the snack you were saving and start blaming someone and get mad at them when maybe they weren’t the one to eat it or maybe they got permission from a parent and they didn’t know it was being saved.
Read through these scenarios and choose the best response to express how you feel without blaming others or trying to get revenge.

Lesson 27

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my education because…
Watch this video.
For scared, sad, and angry, write out or tell someone what you do when you feel those things to make yourself feel better.
Here are some ideas. If you are sad, you may ask someone to play a game with you to cheer up. You may want to take a walk alone if you are angry. You may want to put on music and dance around if you are scared or anxious to distract yourself.

Lesson 28*

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my books/toys/games because…
*Print out this worksheet.
Which thought would help with which feeling?
Can you find one feeling on there and remember the last time you felt that way, or maybe you feel that way about something right now. Can that thought help you? Can you think of an antidote thought that would help you?

Lesson 29

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my body because…
Watch this video.
There are five poison thoughts. List them. For each of them, try to think of a time you had a thought like that. What antidote thought could you have?
Hold onto your list. We’ll do more in Lesson 30.

Lesson 30

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for music because…
There are five poison thoughts. List them. For each of them, try to think of a time you had a thought like that. What antidote thought could you have?
Here’s the video if you need a reminder.

Lesson 31

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for technology because…
Write down or tell someone what you are worried about.
Now, let’s think about it.
- Is your worry based on fact or feeling?
- Is it likely your worry could come true?
- What’s the worst that could happen?
- Will this matter in the future?
- Is there anything I can do about it?
- How should I be thinking about this?
In general, eating healthy and getting exercise (moving around, playing actively) help us feel better.
Bible thoughts are useful always because God is unchanging, so we never need to figure out a new positive thought. We can know He’s always good. We can know He’s always loving us. We can know He’s got the best plan for our lives and is in control. We can just trust Him to be working good no matter what bad things are going on around us. We don’t have to fear a bad thing happening because if it does, God will use it for our good. Nothing surprises Him. Praising God for all His greatness and thanking Him for everything, including the stuff that feels bad, is a way to stay joyful.

Lesson 32

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for clean water because…
Today, write about or tell someone about a time you were disappointed. You were hoping for something and it didn’t happen. Here are some examples:
- A friend left you out of something.
- You wanted something and didn’t get it.
- You lost a game.
- You tried something and failed at it.
Think of the disappointment as if you built up a great Lego tower and then it was knocked over and broke into pieces.
How are you going to build it back up?
Think of your situation and think of things you can or could have done. Examples:
- Try again.
- Use kind words and treat others the way you want to be treated.
- Remind yourself it’s not the end of the world, just the end of one day and there will be a new one tomorrow. This will be in the past. It will be okay.
- Maybe you didn’t really need it. If I really needed it, I would have it. I just wanted it. Maybe I can have it another time, but maybe I won’t even care about it later.

Lesson 33*

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I’m thankful for the seasons because…
*Print out these sheets, or just the second page if you want to save paper and don’t want to cut out.
Cut out and glue the scenarios into their proper place. Or, choose two colors and color in each block to show if it’s a big or small feeling.
What’s the difference?
A small thing we should just let go. I’m disappointed, I’m upset, I’m sad about that, but it’s okay. It’s not a big deal. Just move on and let those thoughts go.
A big thing might take more work. We may need to work on those thoughts. We can talk to someone about our big feelings. They can help us understand what we’re feeling and help us turn around our thinking.

Lesson 34

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for electricity because…
How can we calm down when our emotions are taking over?
What do we not want to do? Write down a list or tell someone. (Hint: We don’t want to yell or hit or do anything that would hurt someone or something.)
What can we do to calm down so our brains can recover and think straight? (Hint: walk away and be by yourself, listen to music, pet the dog, say thankful thoughts, do some exercise, read a book, play with a fidget toy, etc.)
Choose a couple things that you think really help you to calm down and make your body feel better. Do you need reminders to do those things? What can you do to remind yourself? Make a sign? Make a bracelet, etc?

Lesson 35*

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my hair because…
*Print out this page. Write out or talk through each one. How should you be talking to yourself?
How we talk to ourselves is how we talk to others. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you! Talk to yourself the way you’d want others to talk to you.
What are you great at?
What did you do well today?
Bible thought: You were created in the image of God. You are His workmanship, His masterpiece that He created (Eph. 2:10, Psalm 139/Jeremiah 1:15) Don’t talk badly about God’s creation. He doesn’t make mistakes. He made you just right. Give your life to Him to use you just the way He perfectly planned.

Lesson 36
Showing Empathy

What makes you happy right now? Think of something that makes you smile. Write it down and put it in your gratitude jar. Remember, if you are ever struggling to find your smile, open your gratitude jar and read the papers and think about all the things you are thankful for.
In Lesson 21, I mentioned empathy. Empathy is understanding what the other person is feeling because you’ve felt that way too.
For instance, can you think of a time you were embarrassed? When you were embarrassed, did you want people to laugh at you? No, you would want someone to say, “Don’t worry about it. Happens to everyone. Here, let me help. Let’s go.” Or, whatever needed to happen to get things fixed for the moment.
When you see someone else do something embarrassing, instead of laughing at them, you can have empathy because you know it feels bad to feel embarrassed. You can be the one to encourage them and help them out of the situation.
Think of a time you lost something or lost at something and felt sad, or another situation that made you feel sad.
Did anyone do anything to make you feel worse (including yourself)?
Did anyone do anything to make you feel better (including yourself)?
Now, either remember a time when a sibling or friend was in a situation like that, or imagine a situation where they were sad.
What shouldn’t you do?
What should you do?
Write out or practice telling them words that would encourage them.

Lesson 37

Add something to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for phones because…
Watch this video on getting angry.
We made lists the other week of things we can do to make us feel better.
Let’s look at it from an empathetic perspective. How can we make someone else feel better when they are angry?
What are some ideas?
For instance, you may need to give them time alone. You may need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. You may need to ask how you could help and explain what would help you too, but a conversation like that should happen once everyone is in a good mood, not when you are angry.
Is there someone who is angry at you for something that you can practice with now?

Lesson 38 (fresh piece of paper)

Add something to your gratitude jar. How about being thankful for someone who is nice to you?
Take the piece of paper and say something you’ve said that was mean about someone. Every time you say something, fold the paper in half. Examples:
- Your hair looks funny.
- That was dumb.
- You’re annoying.
Did saying those things make you feel good? I hope not. Words like that should make your heart heavy.
Now, say good things about other people. Every time you say something, unfold the paper one time. Keep going until it’s all the way open. Examples:
- You’re smart.
- I like your dress.
- You’re funny.
Did it feel better to say nice things? It feels good to be kind to people.
But look at the paper!
It used to be smooth and clean and fresh. Now it’s all crinkly. We can never get those folds all the way out.
Once you say or do something mean to someone else, you can never really take it back. You can say you are sorry. You can say and do nice things. Those help. The paper isn’t folded anymore, it’s usable as a piece of paper, but those creases are never going away. The memory is still there.
We need to remember how bad it feels to hear hurtful words and how good it feels to hear nice words and treat others the way we want to be treated.
Bonus! It feels much better to give nice words than to throw mean words. Being nice to others is a gift to yourself.

Lesson 39

Add something to your gratitude jar. How about being thankful for someone who did something kind for you or your family?
Make a list of people that you see every week.
For each one, write something kind about them.
Either tell them or make them a card and tell them so.

Lesson 40

Add something to your gratitude jar. How about being thankful that you get the chance to do nice things for others?
Watch this video.
Make a list of three acts of kindness you can do today. Do them!

Lesson 41

Add to your gratitude jar. How about being thankful for something good that happened to you? Remember, you can always read these when you are having trouble being happy or finding things to be thankful for.
Let’s continue with kindness.
Make a list of ten acts of kindness you can do today, and do them!
Here’s a list to help you with ideas. This is from a school, but you can adapt them to your life.

Lesson 42 (*)

Add to your gratitude jar. How about be thankful for something you don’t like? Why? Believe that it has a purpose. You may not like a part of what you have to learn from school, but doing your work anyway is training your character because sometimes we have to work at hard things and we have to work to do things we don’t enjoy. In the end, you will have learned something. You may not like doing chores, but you can be thankful for them because you are learning to care for a home and your family. You are learning you are part of a team and how things get done if we all work together. There’s always a good purpose to anything.
Bible Thought: Romans 8:28 says that God works ALL things for good for those who love God and are called by Him. If you belong to God and gave your life to Him, then love Him and trust Him, knowing He loves you and is always good toward you. That’s why we can always give thanks for EVERYTHING, even bad things. He can use them for our good, to teach us, to train us, to bring us closer to Himself.
Let’s do more kindness today.
(*) Write kind words. Acts of kindness can come as words too, not just actions. You can write notes or just tell someone. These are some little cards you could use to give to people if you like.
Say kind words to at least three people.

Lesson 43

Have some gratitude. Add to your jar. Example: How about be thankful for laughter?
Why does being kind to others help us?
Does it feel good to be kind to others? It can make our day and the other person’s day!
Why?
Humans are social beings. We are meant to be in community to be in families to be together. Selfish, hurtful things isolate us from each other. Kind and loving things bring us together.
It feels good to be connected to people. It feels bad to be disconnected. We want to stay away from things that disconnect us.
HOWEVER, one big note here. Sometimes the crowd, the people around us, are doing something bad. Joining in just to be connected is tempting, but a BAD idea. We want to be connected to people who love us and care about us. Anyone trying to get you to do something that harms your body or harms others is not caring about you and others. Stay away. That’s not what you want to be connected to.
Probably your family members are the most loving and caring people you have in your life. Stay connected. Be careful of things that try to break your connection to your family.
Bible Thoughts
- We were created to be for others, not for ourselves. It’s sin nature that thinks of SELF.
- We want to get rid of all selfish things, things that put US first.
- Selfishness, sin, the Bible says, can make us feel happy for a moment, but then it makes us feel bad. Sin eats away at us. The wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23). That’s what the Bible says. Selfishness kills us. The world tells us we have to put ourselves first. It tells us we need “me” time. It says we have to take care of ourselves. It says we need to indulge ourselves, pamper ourselves.
- No, we need to think of others and put others before ourselves!
- Read at least the first four verses on this page. (Phil. 2:3-4, Rom. 10:12, 1 Cor. 10:24)
- If sin is death, then obedience is life!
- Obeying God’s Word bring life to our life, brings peace, brings joy, brings all those things the world is searching for and not finding.
- Why do so many people who say they are God’s children have trouble finding joy, peace, and all those good things?
- Because instead of turning to God to find those things in Jesus, they follow the world’s methods, seeking in the wrong place what Jesus freely offers.
- Our job is to know God. When we know Him, we will know how much He loves us, and when we know how much He loves us, we will be filled with joy; and joy and love will show themselves in obedience because we will love God’s word because we know it is truth and life for our souls and our best! When we know God and receive His love, then His love spills out into love for others and that increases our joy, which then increases our love for God and His Word, causing us to study His Word with joy and learn more about Him, resulting in more love and joy and obedience! It’s all a gift from Him and it all starts with knowing Him. And GOD IS LOVE.

Lesson 44

Give thanks. Add to your gratitude jar. How about giving thanks for grandparents or people who lived and went before you and paved the way for you to be where you are today?
Make a list of selfish things you think or do. Some examples might be times where you want to be first or where you want to get what you want, even though you know others want the same thing.
Make the choice to lay down your “rights” to get what you want and let others get their preference today.
Be careful of SELF-pity while you are doing this today. That’s another SELF thing we want to get rid of. We can’t feel sorry for ourselves if we are grateful for EVERYTHING in our lives. Make the choice to give thanks each time you lay down your life and give your life for someone else by letting them go first, by letting them have what they want. Give thanks for it. Make it your choice that you chose to do, so you ARE getting what you want!

Lesson 45

Add to your gratitude jar. Example: I am thankful for my neighborhood because…
SELF-esteem is another self phrase. It’s about feeling good about yourself.
We can know we are loved and valuable because we are loved and valuable to all those in our lives who love us.
Bible Thought
- Every person has incredible value because every person is created in God’s image. Every person is loved by God. God desires for every person to know and love Him and live with Him. We were created by God on purpose and for a purpose. We’re to love God and love others. How God works that in each life is unique. For instance, I dance to show my love for God. I share homeschool curriculum for free to show my love to others. (I do other things too, but these are examples of uniqueness to me.)
- Ask God to show you how you can show your love to Him and His love to others. That’s what you’ll be doing for the assignment today. How can you love God and love others?
Make a love board. Ever heard of a vision board? It’s people dreaming about their hopes for the future. A love board is about how you are loved and how you can show love.
Some ideas for what you can do to make your board: write, draw pictures, cut out pictures, copy quotes.
Hold onto this.

Lesson 46(*)

You made a vision/love board in Lesson 45. Today we’ll going to make a plan of action.
(*)Print out the worksheets or look at it online and just use other paper to write your plan.
Look at the worksheets linked in #2. The first page is for you to write your goal and steps. The second page has four examples of goals and steps to take to get there. That might help you get some ideas.
- If you had a vision of loving God by memorizing His Word, you could make a specific goal of memorizing a Psalm. Action steps could include writing out the Psalm, recording yourself reading it, practicing one verse at a time and adding it on as you master it, reciting what you know every day, etc.
- If you had neighbors on your love board, make a plan. Have you noticed someone’s yard with tall grass? Maybe they need some help. What steps could you take?
Then do the steps. Can you take the first step today?
Don’t forget to celebrate when you reach a goal. Then make a new one! We’ll do another one of these on Lesson 50.
Did you add to your gratitude jar or say something you are grateful for? If not, do it now. We’re forming a habit. If it’s not a habit yet, keep going. We’ll get there. Have you given thanks for the universe and its vastness?

Lesson 47

We’re going to take the next several days to review and practice.
Give thanks out loud or write down something you are grateful for. Have you given thanks for forgiveness?
Let’s make more action plans.
When I am angry, I am going to…
- Make an action plan.
- What’s the goal? To be at peace and not hurt anyone or anything
- Action steps (make it specific to you):
  1. recognize that I’m angry and keep my mouth closed and my hands to myself
  2. go be by myself (where? bed, comfy spot, take a walk…)
  3. forgive
  4. give thanks
  5. draw/write/read/exercise/listen to music/sing/play with fidget toy/pet the dog
  6. Maybe you want to have antidote thoughts written down to read at a time like this.
  7. give thanks
  8. make a plan to ask for forgiveness or explain what made you upset and an idea how to fix things
  9. Choose a good time to talk to the person about it. Make sure they aren’t upset.
Post your action plan where you can see it when you are getting upset. Practice. Role play. Act. Act out with someone a situation where you might get mad. Practice your plan. It’s like practicing a fire drill.

Lesson 48

Add to your gratitude jar or say out loud what you are thankful for. Example: I am thankful for the things that I find hard to do because they teach me to work hard and keep trying.
Today let’s prepare for when we worry. If you are afraid or worried about something, what should you do?
Make a goal and action steps. Write them out. Be prepared.
- Goal: not be afraid, not worry any more
- Action steps (example, make your own plan):
  1. Tell someone what I am worried about or afraid of. You can write it down, but it is good to talk about it.
  2. Decide if it is out of your control. If there is nothing you can do about it, there’s nothing you can do about it.
  3. Give thanks for all the good that you have right now.
  4. Decide not to let bad things that haven’t happened and may never, ever happen spoil the good of right now.
  5. Give thanks that even bad things can help us and be good for us. Bible thought: Romans 8:28 says God works everything for our good if we love God.
  6. If there is something you can do, maybe you should do something about it. If you are worried about messing up your recital, you could practice, for instance. But, at some point, you need to let it be enough and stop and trust. You can trust all your preparations.
  7. Practice trusting that all things happen for a reason and can be for good. Then, nothing bad can EVER happen to you because it’s always good in a way.
  8. Write out phrases, sayings, quotes, Bible verses that encourage you to not worry and to trust.
Can you prepare and then practice? What is something you are worried about? Practice your action steps.
How are you going to recognize when you are worrying, to know to take action?

Lesson 49

Add to your gratitude jar. Have you been thankful for a tradition? It could be something your family does or a holiday tradition.
Let’s make an action plan for when we are sad or discouraged.
How can you recognize you are feeling this way?
What are you going to do?
Write out your goal and plan.
Bible Thought: The last verse of Psalm 16 says that in God’s presence is fullness of joy. We have joy when we are with God. Thinking about ourselves can bring us way down. Thinking about God and being with Him and talking with Him brings joy. We need to think about Him and not ourselves.

Lesson 50

Add to your gratitude jar. Have you been thankful for toilet paper or paper in general? Do you have any idea how much you have to be thankful for?
How about make another action plan? Unless you have a plan you really want to make (go for it!), I suggest making another love plan.
You can refer to Lesson 46 if you need a reminder for how to approach that.
Take the first step.
Love is the answer to all the problems in the world. That’s actually true. Gratitude is how we respond when we realize the power of Love.

Lesson 51
Choices

When do you have a choice? When don’t you?
Make a list of things each day that you have control over, where you have a choice.
- For instance, you have control over what you wear within the boundaries your parents give you.
- You have control over what you say and do to people.
When you do have control over something, you need to think about how your decisions affect others because you want them to consider you when they make decisions. For the things on your list, write (or tell someone) how you will make your decision about those things you have control over.
- For instance, I have control over what I play when we go outside, but I will choose to play with my little brother for awhile because it will make him happy and help my parents. I will figure out how to make it interesting for me.
Bible Thought: Our goal is to be selfless. Our goal is to love God and love others. All these decisions we make each day to put others first are acts of dying to self and living as Christ.

Lesson 52

Make a list of things each day that you don’t have control over, where you don’t have a choice.
- For example, you can’t control the weather. You don’t have a choice over whether or not it’s a sunny day good for whatever fun thing you wanted to do outside.
- You can’t control other people’s decisions, actions, and feelings.
When you don’t have control over something, you still have the choice about your attitude and how you will respond.
- You can’t control what you are having for dinner if your mother is making it. You have the choice to thank her and be grateful for someone making you a meal, or you can offer to make dinner.
- You can’t control when someone else is busy and can’t give you attention to hear what you want to tell them. You can wait patiently and get their attention or you can ask them when you can have their attention, and come back and tell them what you wanted to (maybe write down a note so you don’t forget what it was). Getting mad and storming off and refusing to talk to them when they do give you their attention doesn’t ever get you what you wanted.
Write down (or tell someone) what choice you would make for how you would respond to the things on your “can’t control” list.
Remember, it feels good to have a positive attitude!
Bible Thought: Wanting to be in control is human nature, more like sin nature. The first sin was wanting to be like God. God is in control, and when we manipulate and try to make what we want happen, we are trying to be God in our lives and in the lives of those around us. We need to surrender our lives to God and let Him be in complete control. That’s the safest way to live because He is only good and only loving and He alone is wise and all-powerful.

Lesson 53

Let’s review what we worked on.
Look at the phrases at the bottom of the first page. Which are things that are in your control and which are not?
Read the sentences on these cards and respond (writing or telling someone) with how you would react.

Lesson 54(*)

(*) Print out the worksheet and fill it out or just talk it over with someone.
Can you think of one choice you made today or yesterday or recently that had a good outcome?
Can you think of one choice you made that had a bad outcome? What could you have chosen to do differently?

Lesson 55

Ask your parents what are some things they think you need to take responsibility for that you haven’t been doing.
For instance, putting your cups in the dishwasher, hanging up your jacket, putting away your shoes, etc.
Are you willing to take ownership of these things? It’s called being responsible. It’s something you have to learn to be able to get a job, take care of a house or family, to be trusted with a car. Do you want to get your license some day? Learn to be responsible!
Parents: Let these things be the child’s problem. Don’t go around picking up after them. Don’t find the lost things. Let them be responsible. If they aren’t taking responsibility, then help them out. If they leave out a cup, instead of putting in the dishwasher, give it to them and tell them they can’t use any other cup since they didn’t think it needed cleaning and everyone else wanted their dishes clean. If they leave out their socks, put them on their pants or somewhere in front of them. The rest of us don’t want to be around your smelly socks, but I guess you don’t mind having them around. Help them remember the lesson of responsibility. We all share a space and we need to think of others, not just our ease at the moment.

Lesson 56

Are you being responsible? Are you being grateful? Add something to your gratitude jar if you haven’t yet today. Are you thankful for clean air to breathe?
In our last lesson, we talked about things we needed to take responsibility for.
Today write down one thing you wish someone in your family would do differently, something you think they should take responsibility for.
Approach them with an “I sentence,” BUT phrase it so that they see the benefit.
For a parent, they might say, “Please don’t jump on the couch. It makes me nervous because I don’t want you to get hurt.”
- It expresses what you are thinking but in a way that shows the benefit to them.
For a child, they might say to the parent, “Please don’t ask me what I’m thinking. I am trying to think about it, so asking just interrupts my thoughts and I’m not able to think, so how could I tell you my thoughts when I don’t know them yet. If you’ll wait until I’m ready to talk to you about it, then I will know my thoughts so I can tell them to you.”

Lesson 57*

*Print out these cards and match them together. Match each “choice” card to its corresponding consequence or “outcome.”
How do choices affect you and others?

Lesson 58(*)

Sometimes we make the wrong choice and it hurts someone else. Can you think of at least one person you have hurt or upset by your choice in how you acted or in what you said?
Do not blame them. Take responsibility for your choice. They may have done wrong, but you are not responsible for their choice, just your reaction.
(*) Write an apology letter to someone you need to say sorry to. You could print this or just use your own paper and use this as a guideline.

Lesson 59

Ask someone in the house to tell you what they wished you would do differently. For instance, don’t interrupt when they speak, or please answer when you are greeted, or don’t make jokes at someone else’s expense.
Use this page to help you respond.
Why should we do differently?
Because our vision for the future is a world where love rules and makes all things right, we need to love each other. Love feels good. Peace in our homes and hearts feels good. We get that by loving and forgiving others and letting them be different from us and appreciating those differences.

Lesson 60

Read through these character descriptions until you have chosen three characters that you can relate to. Write down their names and the little number on the bottom of their card.
Now read their scenarios and solve their problems. They are in number order to help you find them.
Can you relate? Do you have a problem like that? How could you solve your problem?

Lesson 61 Needs two people
Listening and Not Interrupting

We listen to someone to learn about them. It’s a way we show we care about other people. Every person is unique, so each person is interesting to get to know.
Bible thought: The Bible teaches that every person is created by God uniquely and specifically and that people are made in God’s image and loved by God, so each person is of great value.
When we listen to someone, we can show them we are listening and caring about them by facing them and looking at them when they talk and not interrupting them.
Interrupting shows we care about ourselves and what we have to say instead of caring about them and what they have to say.
We can also show them that we are really listening and wanting to understand them by retelling them what they said and asking them questions.
One guide for listening is this: Look at the speaker. Listen while they speak (means you are listening and not talking – no interrupting). Retell what they said. Ask a question for details. Retell the details.
- Look and listen. Retell. Ask. Retell.
Practice listening. You’ll need a partner for this. Ask the person a question. Let them answer without interrupting. Do not speak. Listen. No interrupting. If that part is hard, purse your lips closed or put your hand over your mouth until you get better at it.
Here are some question prompts you could use, and you can make up your own questions. Practice three times.

Lesson 62 Needs two people

Let’s think about how to be a good listener.
Here are tips.
Remember, listening means you aren’t talking. Resist the urge to interrupt!
Here are the question prompts from Lesson 61 that you can use again, or make up your own, to practice three more times.

Lesson 63

There are other times we shouldn’t interrupt. We shouldn’t interrupt when someone is speaking to us, but we also shouldn’t interrupt when they are speaking to someone else.
The person they are speaking to could be right there with them, or they could be speaking to someone on the phone, or they could be speaking to someone by writing an email or a text. Your sibling may be “speaking” to someone by writing out their answers to their school work. It’s like answering a teacher.
When someone is speaking, don’t interrupt them.
Your family may have a strategy for this, but if you don’t have one, go up to the person you want to say something to and say their name. Then wait until they give you their attention. Wait.
It can be hard to wait, so you might want to come up with a strategy such as them holding up a finger to let you know that they heard you but you need to wait. That way you won’t be tempted to keep calling their name for their attention.
Another strategy might be for them to shake their hand no if now is not a good time. Then you would have to decide if it is a quick, important thing that you need to ask right then and can’t wait until later. Most things can wait.
Practice going to tell your parents or sibling something and waiting for the attention. Can you figure out ways to practice three times?
If you mess up and don’t wait patiently, repeatedly call their name or do other drastic, yet silent, measures to get their attention, then practice more until you do it three times with patient waiting.
Parents, you can practice asking them to come back later too.
You may need to come up with a list of what is quick enough or important enough for them to interrupt.

Lesson 64

Watch this video about a different kind of interrupting. We don’t interrupt when someone is speaking, but we also need to be thoughtful about not interrupting when someone is thinking.
Think about your siblings and parents. Make a list of times when you should wait to speak to them.
Can you picture what they look like during those times? How can you know it’s not a good time? You can ask them if you are unsure.
You can also come up to them and ask if this is a good time to tell them something. Then don’t be frustrated if they say no. Just wait for a better time.
Parents, help your child know when is a good time and consider building into your day a time set apart for each child where they get your attention for a set amount of time, so they know they will get the chance.

Lesson 65 Needs two people

Let’s practice listening again. What are the tips for listening?
Here are tips.
Remember, listening means you aren’t talking. Resist the urge to interrupt the speaker.
Here are the question prompts from Lesson 61 that you can use again, or make up your own, to practice three more times.

Lesson 66* Needs two people
Conversation

When someone asks you, “How are you?” what are some ways you can respond?
If someone is just walking by, they probably just expect an answer like, “fine” or “good” or even “hanging in there” if things aren’t the best.
If they want to know more, they can ask. You can give a better answer when someone comes up to you and asks, “How are you doing?” If they are stopping and coming up to you to ask, they want to know. Don’t just give them one word. You can say, “Good,” but then give them one reason why, such as, “It’s a beautiful day out. That always makes me feel good.” Or, “I got all my work done fast today.” Or, “We’re having my favorite dinner today.”
If they don’t ask another question right away, then you ask them back, “How are you doing?”
Try to ask a follow up question to show them you are listening and care.
Let’s practice “How are you?” conversations.
Cut out this paper conversation guide. I will give you the directions for how to use it.
Fold the paper conversation guide.
One person puts it on their fingers as shown in the folding guide. Ask the other person for a number from 1 to 10.
Starting in either direction, open and close the conversation guide that many times alternating directions. If you don’t know how to do that, here’s a video for what that looks like. (No need to watch the whole video.)
It will come up “I ask you,” or “You ask me.” That will pick who is going to ask. That person chooses a number from 1 – 10. Do the finger motions to choose.
Then the person chooses a letter A, B, C, or D to see what question they should ask.
Practice ten times.
If you think this is a useful exercise, hold onto it.

Lesson 67*

*Print out these worksheets (or just the first page if you want to do the second page orally).
The first page is for matching, giving you ideas of something you could say to someone in those situations.
The second page is for you to write out what you would say in those situations. If you are working with someone, you could just say those things instead of writing them out.

Lesson 68*

*Print out this page and cut out the strips. Choose one from each pile and think of what you’d say. Say it out loud. If you want to avoid printing, you can look at it on the screen and roll a die to find your picks; 6 is your choice.
Keep going until you have done each location.

Lesson 69

A good way to start a conversation is with a compliment or a question or just a friendly comment.
Look at the last page for examples.
Go to each person in your house and use one of these techniques.

Lesson 70(*)

Today we’re going to practice something similar to answering, “How are you?”
When you get back from an activity, or if you’ve been off doing something by yourself or off playing with a sibling or friend, your parents want to know what you’ve been doing or how your day was.
(*) Look at these responses to those types of questions.
Record yourself answering about your day or find someone to tell about your day and what you’ve been doing.

Lesson 71 *

*Print these pages.
Do both worksheets.
Compliments are what we call “flower words.” If someone gave you flowers, you would say, “Thank you.” When someone gives you flower words, you also say thanks.

Lesson 72*

*Print these pages.
This is also about learning to respond when someone speaks to you and when to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Lesson 73* NEEDS Two People

*Print and cut out these pages.
You are going to practice conversation. When you do a piece of the conversation, put down the appropriate part of the train.
- The engine is the greeting.
- The car with the window is the “how are you” warm-up question.
- The train cars are the back and forth of conversation.
- If the conversation topic goes off track, use the broken track card. Then use the regular track card to get the conversation back on track.
- Finish with the caboose (two windows).
- Here is an example conversation.
Remember, asking questions and retelling information are tools you can use to listen and help you have a conversation.
You can try this more than one time.

Lesson 74 NEEDS Two People

Play catch. Throw a ball back and forth. When you have the ball, it’s your turn to respond and add something to the conversation.
Listen! Say something in response to what they said. Don’t say something random out of the blue.
We build conversations. Each piece is connected to the one before like the train tracks.
If you want to steer the conversation to a topic you are interested in, then ask a question about it. “Do you like….?” See if you can find something in common that you both want to talk about.
How long can you keep the conversation going? Take turns! This isn’t about just talking but about taking turns in conversation and listening so you can respond.

Lesson 75*

Here’s an activity for the weekend. This will take some time. You are going to practice approaching people to start a conversation.
You need to at least get Bingo, a whole row filled in. Maybe you want to try for more!
Take the sheet with you to an activity and approach people and ask them the question on the sheet.
When they respond, you respond too. Ask a question. See if you can continue the conversation.

Lesson 76

In the next set of lessons, we’ll look at some areas where we can get into trouble with our conversation.
Sometimes we can talk too much or too little. Words are things we share, just like anything else. You give some, and I give some.
In which of these pictures are the kids sharing their words evenly? In the other picture, how are the others feeling?
What can you do to share words? How can you stop talking and pass the conversation to someone else? After you have thought of your answers, read mine.
- One way is to ask a question of someone else.
- One way is to realize you’ve said enough and just stop. You can acknowledge you’ve used up your turn and it’s time for someone else’s turn by saying something like, “I’ve been talking lots.”
What should you do if someone is saying all the words? After you have thought of your answer, read mine.
- You should try to listen and stay focused.
- You should try to be patient and not be thinking about what you want to say.
- There is a famous book called How to Win Friends and Influence People. It talks about this in the book. It suggests letting the other person do all the talking and to just ask questions when you get the chance. In order to ask questions, you have to be listening. That’s a listening skills, being able to let them know you were listening so you can ask about what they just said. The book tells several stories about how they were able to get business deals and such because they asked questions and just listened. The man tells how he was praised as a great conversationalist when he had barely said anything at all.
- Don’t interrupt, but if you must say something, wait for a break at the end of a sentence.
Try to practice. Find someone in your home and ask them what they are doing. Try to get a conversation out of them. Ask questions and let them talk.

Lesson 77 (*) Needs Two People

Today’s lesson is to practice staying on topic in conversation. I want to remind you that in this course, our biggest main goal is to love others. We share our words because we love others. We stay on topic because we love others. If we just start talking about what we want to talk about, then we make the other person feel like we don’t care about what they were saying. And we should care because it mattered to that person and we care about them.
(*) You can just look at this game online or you can print if you like. You would just need pages 2 and 3 OR pages 4 and 5. The second set of cards don’t have any tips for conversation. Each player gets a set.
This is supposed to be played as a game. You can just practice conversation, but if you’d like to play the game, one person asks the question and then the other person gets to draw a card. It’s their turn in the conversation now. If they respond on topic, they get to put down their letter. You are trying to be the first to spell FOCUS.
- If you aren’t printing cards, you can just write the letters down on a piece of paper.
You can play this twice, taking turns with who is first. The suggested topics are:
- What do you know about zoos?
- What is your dream home?

Lesson 78

One conversation trouble area we have sometimes is talking too loudly or too quietly.
Both talking too loudly and too quietly can make it very hard for the other person to listen to you.
If you are too quiet, they just can’t hear what you are saying. You aren’t sharing your words. It’s like holding something out to give them but not reaching out far enough that they can actually get it.
If you are too loud, they feel like they have to protect themselves and stop listening because it can even be painful to listen to something that’s too loud. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s ears. We don’t want to hurt anyone.
Go through this lesson on when to be silly and when to be serious.
After you go through the first set of pictures and think of more situations, then go through the next set which describes how to act.
You can act those out as you go through the second set. There are times for wiggles and times for being still. Don’t walk away from someone while they are speaking to you or you are speaking to them. Sometimes you need to be still. Figure out other ways to fidget if you have trouble being still.
- In which of these situations can we be loud? In which should we be quieter?
Choose three cards to respond to. Choose from at least two color categories.
- The blue cards are the easiest. You just have to say if it’s a silly, fun, a little serious, or serious situation.
- The red cards would be good to try. You have to fix the kid’s mistake. What did they do wrong?
- The next set is about what you do or should do in certain situations.
- The purple set is for acting out scenarios.

Lesson 79 Needs Two People

For the next two lessons, let’s just practice our conversation skills. What do we need to think about when having a conversation? List some of the skills we’ve practiced.
- speaking at the right volume
- not moving around too much
- taking turns in conversation
- staying on topic
- looking at the person
- listening
- retelling and asking questions to let them know we’re listening
Choose a topic of conversation. Use page 2 of this PDF to pick a category of conversation.
If it would help you, scroll down and find sentence and question starters for that topic.

Lesson 80 Needs Two People

Let’s practice our conversation skills again. What do we need to think about when having a conversation?
- speaking at the right volume
- not moving around too much
- taking turns in conversation
- staying on topic
- looking at the person
- listening
- retelling and asking questions to let them know we’re listening
Choose a topic of conversation. Use page 3 of this PDF to pick a category of conversation.
If it would help you, scroll down and find sentence and question starters for that topic.

Lesson 81(*)

We’re going to talk more about talking. Today’s lesson is about when to not talk or how to say things nicely.
Have you ever heard the expression, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?
That’s what we’re talking about today. I think that rhyming lesson is a good one. Here’s one that’s used today. T.H.I.N.K. before you speak. Each letter stands for something.
- True…Do you know that what you are about to say is true?
- Helpful…Is what you want to say helpful to the other person?
- Inspiring…Would the thing you want to say inspire the other person?
- Necessary…Does it need to be said?
- Kind…Are they kind words that you are going to say?
Start with this simple page. Which thoughts should you say and which should you keep to yourself?
Now, look back at the ones that you thought you should keep to yourself. Now, think of what you could say instead. For instance, instead of “Your snack looks gross,” you could say, “I don’t think I’ve had that before. What is that?”
- Write on your answers, or tell someone.
(*) Now, read through these responses. Your job is to label them as helpful – unhelpful – kind – hurtful. If you are working together, you can just look at them online. If you are working alone, you can print and cut them out to put them in piles or just mark each one to show their category.
Now, think before you speak today!

Lesson 82

What if we mess up? What if we let words or actions slip out that weren’t true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, or kind? What if we hurt someone?
If you upset someone, you can make it better.
First, think about what you did. Why did it happen? And decide what you could have done differently. (Keep your mouth closed, said something nice, walked away, asked for help, etc.)
Think of a time you upset someone. What did you do? What did you say? What should you have done? You could write this out or draw a picture.
Now, let’s form some words. Fill in the blanks.
- You sounded ___________ (or You seemed ________)
- because I ___________.
- Next time, I want to ___________.

Lesson 83(*)

One problem we sometimes have in communicating with others is that we make assumptions. That means we think we know they are thinking something or doing something, but we don’t really know. The problem with assumptions is that we think we know. It can be hard sometimes to catch assumptions. It’s always best to ask and not make assumptions.
(*)Read this scenario and mark each statement as fact or assumption. Does he really know it’s true, or is it just what he’s thinking?
Now, look at these pictures and answer the questions. You don’t need to print and fill it out.
What assumptions did you make? Do you really know what’s happening?
Do you see from the second picture that you could be upset thinking people are laughing at you when they aren’t at all? I had this happen to me once. I laughed at something else, and someone was mad at me for more than a year for laughing at them. But I hadn’t done it!
It’s always best to ask and to talk to people about things, not just assume and keep things to yourself. If you are already upset, then there’s not really a risk in asking about it. You’ll either stay upset or it will make it better. And if you are still upset, then you can work on forgiving!

Lesson 84(*)

This lesson is to practice what you would say in different situations. Deciding what we would do beforehand can help us know what to do if something like that really happens.
What you would say in that place to that person? If you want, you can print the activity and do it as described. Otherwise, just pick one from each column.

Lesson 85

Are you giving thanks? How is your gratitude box/jar coming along?
Open it up and read everything in it. Give thanks.
What’s something right now in your life that is making you complain?
Stop and figure out a way to be truly thankful instead.
Now, think of a way to show kindness to each person in your family. Think of what would make the other person happy, not you, though hopefully it makes you feel very happy every time you do something kind for someone else.
Make a plan and then do it. They could be secret things you do, like clean up when no one is looking; or it can be something they know about and you can ask to help, or whether they would like someone to play with them, etc.

Lesson 86(*)
Friends

In order to make a good friend, we need to be a good friend.
(*)Look at the scenarios. Which of these things make for good friends or bad friends? You can just talk about them if you are doing this together with someone, or you could print the second page and use two different colors to mark which are good and which are bad, or you can print both pages and do the activity and cut and glue the ideas.
Can you think of things that you do that would make you a good friend?
Can you think of things that you do that would make you a bad friend?

Lesson 87*

What makes a good friend in general?
What kind of person would make a good friend for you? For instance, a good friend for you might believe similar things to you and like to do similar things.
Think about things you like and things you like doing.
*Make a want ad for a friend.

Lesson 88

How can you find a friend?
We tend to be friends with people we spend time with since we get the chance to get to know each other better (since we have time together). Time together grows you closer to someone.
That’s why it’s a good idea to invite someone over to your house if you want to be friends with them. Having time together, just you instead of with a group, will help you get to know each other better.
Since we need to be around people to be their friends, we need to either look for friends who live near us, or we need to be a in group or activity so we can spend time with others.
Think about your neighborhood and the groups you are part of. Who in those places would you like to be friends with maybe? If you don’t know, think about your friend ad. You can try to find someone who has similar interests by asking, “Do you like…?” If they do, then you can ask them if they would like to come over.
You don’t need lots of friends, but all people need connection. Maybe you have good connections with people in your family, and even would call them friends. That’s great! Take care of those friendships in your family. Be a good friend to your siblings. Maybe you have cousins nearby as well. Family will be around through the years, so they make great friends.

Lesson 89*

What’s the difference between family and friends?
What’s the difference between friends and strangers?
What would be something you would talk to family about, but not friends?
What would be something you would talk to friends about, but not strangers?
*Print out this page and write in topics that are okay to share and what are not okay to share with each type of person.
This page can give you ideas. Where would each of these things go?
When you are online, you have to treat most people like strangers. Online we don’t share personal information. You don’t post your address, phone number, last name, birthdate, etc. And you should never give any passwords to anyone, even to friends. Only your parents should know any passwords.

Lesson 90

Here’s a different lesson on what to share and what not to share.
Do you know what tattling is?
- Tattling is telling a grownup something wrong someone else did in order for you to look good and the other person to look bad. When you tattle, you hope the other person will get in trouble.
In general, that’s not how we want to treat other people. People will get upset if you tattle on them.
However, there are times when you should share. Telling a grownup about rules that are being broken can be very important if someone could get hurt, which would include someone’s things being damaged or stolen, not just someone being physically hurt.
Look at these scenarios. Which ones could you tell about?
What about the rest? What should you do?
- What should you do if someone’s whistling when they should be quiet, or took the book you wanted, or won’t play with you?
  - Those are things you probably should just ignore. Oh, well. You could, though, try to play something fun to entice them to join you.
- What should you do if someone got in line in front of you or made a face at you?
  - The best response is to be positive. Return good for evil. It won’t make much difference to have to wait a few more seconds in line. It’s not worth being angry forever about it. You could say, “After you” and choose to let them in front of you.
  - If they make a face, you can ignore it, or respond something positive. “You’re looking good today.”
- Some of the others, especially if they happen repeatedly, you could tell a grownup and get help talking to the other child and working out a solution. Just saying, “Stop,” won’t solve it. The other child needs help making the choice to stop, not just with you but with anyone.
- The way to get rid of an enemy is to turn them into a friend, so responding nicely instead of in anger is the best way to solve any of these problems. Don’t ever “get them back” and do the bad thing back to them. That turns you into the problem!
Is there anything going on now that someone is doing that is bugging you? How can you respond in a positive way to help it stop? Do you need to talk to a grownup and get help?

Lesson 91 Needs Two People

Today we’re going to communicate with our eyes!
There’s an expression that says the eye is the window into the soul, that we can tell what someone is feeling just by looking into their eyes.
First, let’s just try looking at someone in the eye. People like you to look at their eyes so they know you are paying attention to them. Sometimes it can feel very hard to look at someone directly in the eyes, so let’s practice.
Have a staring contest.
Now, try again but this time talk. Make a statement, and then ask a question, and then it’s the other person’s turn. All the while, look each other in the eye. The first one to break away from looking lost the game.
Now, one last activity. You are going to play charades with your eyes. Wear a mask or wrap a scarf or something around your face to cover your mouth.
Pick an emotion word from the list below and try to demonstrate it with your eyes. The other person keeps guessing until they get it.
You should each take at least three turns.
- Bored
- Excited
- Focused
- Frustrated
- Happy
- Mad
- Scared
- Sad
- Surprised

Lesson 92 (*)

(*)Print or pull up on your screen page 4, the script. If you are into these things, you can cut out and make the puppets, but I don’t think we need that for this lesson. We are looking at communicating in ways other than our words.
This may seem like we’re communicating with words because I gave you a script to read, but we are going to practice our tone of voice.
Sometimes we can tell how someone is feeling by their tone of voice, by how they sound.
You are going to read the script and make your voice sound the different emotions.
You can do both parts yourself if you don’t have a partner. The point is to practice making our voices expression an emotion.
Voice-over actors don’t get to use their bodies and eyes and faces to express the emotion. They have to just use their voices.
If you can get a partner, you can do this with someone else. If you can get an audience, read the script with your backs turned to them and ask if they can hear how the characters are feeling from your voice.

Lesson 93*

*Print out this worksheet. You are going to be an observer.
You’ll need to find a place where you can watch people. You could go with your parents to the grocery store or you could do this at a group or activity you attend.
You are going to watch people and try to understand how they are feeling by how they look, by their body language.
Look at how they are standing, how their arms are, as well as what their faces look like. You are going to describe what you see.
There’s even a place for someone when you can’t tell how they are feeling. Sometimes someone will look bored or sad, and laugh, but then go back to looking sad. Their laughing might not have been really happy. It might be covering up how they are feeling. Feelings can be mixed up too. Remember, sad-mad? We can feel more than one thing.
You can complete this worksheet by observing people in your family, but if you do, you should still try to take at least one day when you are out to observe others and see how their bodies and faces show how they are feeling.
Think about what your body is showing about how you are feeling.

Lesson 94

Are you being grateful? Can you think of anything that you have complained about recently? Write a gratitude note about it. How can you be thankful and change your attitude?
- Examples:
- My brother is so annoying. I am thankful that I have a brother. The house would be lonely and quiet without him. I hope we can be good friends when we get older.
- My computer isn’t working again. I am thankful I have a computer. So many people have never even used a computer, even though that’s even hard for us to imagine what it would be like to never have a computer or tablet.
Now, think about how you observed people’s body language. Go find someone in the house (or wherever you are) and offer them a compliment. Then ask how they are doing. If they just say one word, ask a question based on their body language. If they look tired, you could ask, “Did you get a good rest last night?” and see if they have anything to share.
Then listen and respond. It’s not the time to talk about you. It’s a time to care about them.

Lesson 95

Is there a problem you are having that’s weighing on you? What can you be grateful for about it? The highest form of gratitude is believing everything happens for a purpose in your life, so you can be thankful even for things that seem bad.
- I am thankful for this pain in my foot. Every time I take a step, I’m reminded I need to get my eyes off myself and stop thinking of myself and my problems and to think about what is good and beautiful and how I can help others. I am thankful that it makes me feel better when I stop thinking about it.
- I am thankful that I know I am loved and accepted even if _____ doesn’t talk to me anymore. I am thankful for friends and family that will always choose me and love me no matter what.
Do you still have your love board? Go look at it if you do.
Make a new kindness, love-in-action plan. Carry it out. (See lessons 45 and 46.)

Lesson 96 Needs two people
Cooperation

The rest of the lessons in this course need two people.
Play Melt or Freeze. Start dancing. When the person in charge says, “Freeze,” you use self control and stop. When they say, “Melt,” then you start dancing again. The person in charge can dance and freeze along with you.
If your mom is talking to someone and you want to show her something, should you melt or freeze?
- Freezing would be to stop and wait until she’s done.
- Melting would be interrupting her until she looks.
When should you melt? When should you freeze? Can you think of two examples of when it is okay to melt and when you should freeze?
- If you need some more ideas, you can look here.
Do you remember how we practiced listening and not interrupting? That’s a time when we freeze. We may want to say something, but we should stop and wait.

Lesson 97 Needs two people

Play a game where you have to take turns.
Practice waiting your turn without hurrying the other person along or making them feel bad for how long it takes them to take their turn. Hold your hand over your mouth if you need to. Don’t make them feel bad about their choices. Don’t call any move stupid! The goal isn’t winning. The goal is playing together and making sure the other person enjoys the game. You want other people to enjoy playing with you or you will find yourself with no one to play with! Enjoy their victories and sympathize with their defeats.
If you don’t have a game to play, how about checkers.

Lesson 98 Needs two people

Read the story.
Who was right?
This is a lesson on perspective. People see things differently, but that doesn’t mean they are wrong.
If someone disagrees with you, you need to ask questions and find out why and understand their thinking, not just try to change their mind.
Look at this image with someone else. What do each of you see? Listen to each other explain. Don’t try to convince each other that you are right. Understand each other’s point of view.
Try again.
Listen to each other until you see their point of view.

Lesson 99 Needs two people

Look at these pictures and answer the questions.
- Take turns answering. Don’t talk over each other. Maybe take turns being the first one to answer.
- Listen to each other’s reasoning.
- They are allowed to have a different opinion than you. You don’t need to correct them, but on your turn, you can politely explain what you think and why. You don’t need to make comments on their opinions, just share yours.
If you agreed on everything, find someone else to practice with!

Lesson 100 Needs two people

Look at these images and answer the questions.
Take turns. Don’t say the other person is wrong. Listen to their perspective and understand it.
With the last three that aren’t close-up pictures, listen and respond. Ask a question to learn more about what they shared.
Take turns.

Lesson 101*(*) Needs two people (Try to find someone you need to practice getting along with.)

(*)Get a blank piece of paper or print this worksheet for ideas.
You are going to draw a picture together. Take turns adding something. You could start by drawing a face. Take turns adding one feature.
The goal is to cooperate, not ruin the picture. However, you may have a plan that’s different from the other person. They don’t have to do what you want them to do. Let them add and then you get a chance to add. Don’t wipe out what they did.
Did you cooperate or did things break down?
*If things broke down, fill out this worksheet and find a compromise in the middle. Explain what you are thinking and feeling and listen to each other. Make a plan to do better.
If you cooperated well, then hold onto the worksheet for when you do have a conflict. Work to the middle to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling.
Try another picture. Make a scene. Cooperate. You are a team.

Lesson 102 Needs two people

Play mirror. Take turns.
One person does a pose or motion and the other person does their best to copy. Don’t correct each other.
Remember learning about body language and looking at others? By imitating someone’s body language, we can help them feel like we understand them. If they are excited, you get excited. If they are slouchy, then you slouch and ask, “What’s up?”
Ask each other how they are doing and mirror their body language as they talk. Don’t be obnoxious about it!
We’ll be doing activities together for several days. If there is ever a breakdown, work on an understanding map together.

Lesson 103* Needs two people

*Work together to decode riddles. Try the easier one first. Then switch roles and try the harder one.
- One person gets the key and one person gets the code (you can cut the key out).
- Work together. Don’t grab the key to see for yourself.
- The person with the key should stand back as well. This is a good lesson for practicing personal space. You should be able to reach out your arm and not touch each other. Give each other room and each do your task.
If there is ever a breakdown, work on an understanding map together.

Lesson 104 Needs at least two people

Together, come up with a team name, slogan, and logo. You aren’t done until you agree.
Together, give each person an animal based on their personality traits. Explain why each person is that animal. Decide for each other, but cooperate. They need to accept your decision. Explain.
If there is ever a breakdown, work on an understanding map together.

Lesson 105

This is our last lesson. While I want you to remember gratitude and your love-in-action vision, I know that lots of times every day, you are going to be faced with decisions. What decisions you make, even little ones, will affect your future, because they will affect your heart and the hearts of others. What you do and say matters!
Let’s practice making decisions.
- What would you do?
- Scenario (From centervention): You are the current student council president. Your grade is voting for two students who each want to take over for you next year. A folder
  is passed around, everyone hands in a vote on a slip of paper, and you count them up. Looks like Student A wins by just one vote! When you announce the winner, Student B is upset, but the friends shake hands, and the class cheers. A week later, as you clean out your desk, you notice two slips of paper stuck deep in your folder– they’re both lost votes for Student B. Uh oh! It looks like Student B won after all! At a big assembly, it’s already been announced that Student A won and they have started preparing for the job. Student B really did want the job, and it seems like they are the true winner.
- What do you do?
- What happens if you don’t?
- Describe your decision and explain.
Here are more decisions to make. How are you going to decide? It’s helpful to have already made up your mind what is right and wrong and know that you have already chosen to do what’s right and think of others before yourself. And, of course, when we are choosing friends, we want to choose to be around people who will think of us and not be selfish!
Which decisions were easier to make? Which decisions were hard to make?

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Social Skills